


Falling in love too easily

by blue_butterfly



Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Bitterness, M/M, One Night Stands, Past Relationship(s), Reminiscing, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-20 18:33:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9505568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_butterfly/pseuds/blue_butterfly
Summary: While in bed with Dean, Aidan's mind wanders to his previous relationships. There have been many, and none of them lasted. Will it be different this time?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Repost of an old work . A recent glitch on tumblr and subsequent termination of my account, although temporary, has made me want to store these stories elsewhere.
> 
> I've always meant to write a sequel for this one with a happy ending. Maybe one day I'll get around to.

_“Ah, yeaah baby…more!”_

Aidan moans eagerly while he lies spread-eagled underneath his co-star and gets it up the back door. Again. It’s not the first time, nor is it going to be the last.

And while it’s not exactly unpleasant - Dean is a skilled lover and a gentle one - Aidan secretly knows how it’s going to end once the heat has cooled down. It always does. Dean wouldn’t be the first to suddenly turn awkward around him after a few nights in the sheets. Strained conversations, funny looks, excuses after excuses one cheaper than the other and then - silence. Non-committal small talk, desperately trying to keep alive a friendship that had died the moment Dean put his dick inside him. Maybe even hostility. It wouldn’t be the first time.

People want him for his body, for his good looks, Aidan is only too aware of that although he keeps acting as if he really has no clue. No one bothers with the person that’s inside, and why should they? He’s just a pretty boy who sleeps around.  
  
_“Oh god, Aidan…so good, so fuckin’ good…”_

He doesn’t want to sleep around. Aidan’s no whore, he doesn’t fall into bed easily, nor with everyone. However, people believe what they hear and when an actor has become notorious for having dalliances with their co-star then certainly he or she _must_ be an easy lay. What no tabloid or news flash ever looks at is the fact that three short affairs hardly make someone a slut, and had anybody bothered to look closely they’d have seen the hurt look in his eyes and the forced smile he was sporting whenever he stood close to someone who’d called him by sweet endearments under the cover of the previous night and didn’t waste a single look at him in the bright spotlights of the red carpet.

No, despite public opinion getting laid wasn’t his single priority in life, and he was far from an easy lay. There’d been so many people making a pass at him it got tiring after a while, especially since Aidan wasn’t interested in any of them. And he was quite capable of making that clear. “Thanks, but no”. He’d made that abundantly clear to the predecessor of the man he was now spread out underneath. Rob had repeatedly hit on him, trying to get him into bed, until Aidan had made him understand that no, ain’t gonna happen. Not now, not ever. Rob simply wasn’t his type.

Dean was, and that was part of the problem. It was the people that Aidan himself developed a crush on - usually the ones he worked with closest - that he fell for easiest…and who always ended up hurting him.

_“You like that, yeah? You wanna have more?”_  
_“Fuck…yes…god, you’re so good…haah, more, Dean, please, more…”_

He should know by now that no serious relationship ever started with hot sex. At least not in real life. He’d once got a script for a film proposal whose main plot had centered around something like that, and he’d rejected it because it was ridiculous. Deep, genuine love never sprouted from a one night stand. However, Aidan’s private life seemed very much plotted after such a failed script, or why did he make the same mistake over and over again?

A serious relationship involved dates and talking and going out together; cuddling on the couch and watching films and cooking for each other; listening and being there when things went bad and falling asleep together. To Aidan, it was so much more than just sex.

Oh, make no mistake, he was no monk and sex was important. And fun. There were the occasional flings just for sex; someone at a club or a bar that he got involved with just for the night. The major difference was that in these cases, both partners knew and agreed that whatever they were going to do, it was just for the fun part, no strings attached. That they were going to have a few hot rounds and never see each other again, no harm done to either of them.

Somehow though that level of communication or understanding was missing whenever Aidan wanted someone not just for the night. And he had no idea where exactly he went wrong. Maybe he just missed the part every time; that one moment when the other made clear that this wasn’t going to be anything serious.

Maybe he just fell in love too easily.  
  
But he couldn’t help it. He always poured everything into it, his heart and soul, because that was what love meant to him - giving yourself over, all of yourself. Hold nothing back. To him, it was 100% or nothing, every single time.

He’d so often been fooled to believe that he had finally found a partner who was just like that. Who wasn’t simply after a quick shag. However, every time he got close enough to someone - and the only people he got close enough to these days were his co-stars - and began liking them as more than just friends, it went down the same route. He fell for them, hard; he was charmed by them, totally smitten…and while he’d rather have gone to the movies or just sat outside watching the stars, he’d instead let himself be talked into bed because he was afraid of losing them were he to refuse. Every single fucking time.

_“I’m…oh god baby I’m so so close…”_

The problem was, if he kept acting shy and flustered; playing untouchable for too long , people would walk away from him and turn their attention to somebody else. And if he gave in to the wooing at once, he usually ended up on his back the very same night and heartbroken in the morning.

Too often. He’s had that too often to be tricked again, even if with Dean it feels real, it feels the closest he’s ever had to everything he’s ever wanted; even if this could be the real thing, the one he always strove for. Except that he’s been fooled once too often in the past and he has made himself the promise not to let it come that far again. Even if it feels right with Dean, he’s sure it isn’t going to work - why should it; why should it work this time of all times, when he’s fallen hardest for Dean out of all the people he’s ever fallen for?

The same pattern over and over again. Mutual feelings of attraction discovered, whispered in the dark: _‘I like you’ - 'I like you, too,’_  leading to shy kisses and probing hands. If the partner was experienced with guys, like Dean, it was going to go fast from there and ending with Aidan spreading his legs. Too fast maybe, too eager, but then again if it was love, it didn’t matter, right? There was enough time for romance and dates later on, and if it was love, the particular order of things didn’t matter. Just that it never was love.

Dean spills into him with a shout and Aidan follows suit, suppressing the romantic thoughts in substitute for the momentary pleasure. That, at least, is his end of the bargain and he’s not gonna let it go to waste even if it leaves him feeling empty and dull in the morning; another wasted night added to his eternal, endless quest.

_“I love you.”_

Yeah, that. He’s heard that often enough, too. Too often to believe it because for most people, _'I love you’_ was just another way of saying _'Thanks for the shag’_.

So he just hums something in reply that could mean all and nothing at the same time. When Dean rolls off after a while Aidan immediately goes for the Kleenex and wipes himself clean, then he reaches for the pack of cigarettes and lights one although he knows Dean isn’t particularly fond of the habit. He says nothing when Dean gets up and dresses himself.

_“See you tomorrow then.”_  
_“Yeah.”_

After the door closed behind the blond, Aidan turns onto his stomach and faces the wall of his little trailer.

Another deep drag of the cigarette.  
Smoke blown into the air while he keeps staring at the blank white wall.  
Another wasted night to add to his records.  
  
_Fuck it all._


End file.
